Why Me?

I would suspect when most people get a cancer like this, they ask God “Why me”. I knew from the beginning, the question was not “why me”, instead it was not even a question at all, rather a statement “Try me.” was more appropriate.

If you survey the GBM landscape, you will find all types of human suffering, where once was a full human being remains a human being with so many deficits, their friends and family see only part of what was. In my case, I was left with my faculties to speak and think. My companies and an ongoing source of income was such that I could survive financially. I was immediately placed with the best of the best doctors and new treatment options open up for me as I need them. The surgery and initial recovery was no problem, no pain. Even my home was accommodating to my recovery, adapting easily to a slightly crippled person. The only deficit I sustained was left side paralysis and I am right handed, so that is not even severely hampering me in my important daily living routines and now I am even getting that back, more and more each day. I have a tremendous wife who invests daily in my recovery and sacrifices her own life for mine and an unbelievable set of friends who support and love me. So, I ask “Jesus, Why Me?” Why am I so blessed when so many others suffer so much more than I do? Even someone who has no belief in Christ must admit there is more than sheer luck and coincidence going on. No one is this lucky, especially when it comes to a GBM. Search long and hard and you will only find a rare few who even approach my level of grace. So, obviously for the rest of us that believe in Christ and grace, we may conclude God has a plan for me, but “why me”, I am not versed in scripture nor am I one of our best. Who am I? I am no one, nothing special. I suppose this Website is a start, but I know there must be more. Am I being egotistical to even think Jesus would want to save my life and use me in his work?

I pray each night:

“Jesus, if it be God’s will, heal me and put me to work in Your service.” I suppose He will let me in on my assignments when the time is right. For now, I continue to heal and wait and live day to day, always being careful not to miss an assignment.