Fear and Despair - A Decision

At one point in ICU, I looked at my right hand. It seemed swollen twice it’s size. I panicked and asked the nurse if I was dying. She said, “No. You are very stable”. Her words did not comfort me. I was still terrified. As I lay in fear, self-pity and despair, I felt the words in my heart “It’s OK. You can come with ME now and end class. Or you can choose to live. It’s your decision.” I pondered the two options carefully. The offer to go home was appealing but much too selfish. I choose to live, not really for me, but for the people that loved me, especially Audrey. At that point, all my fear and anxiety melted away. I was comforted.