Self-Awareness

Just recently I discovered I have been a poor father to Katherine and a poor husband to Audrey. Not by what I have done, but by what I have not done. For the last 5 years I focused on providing the best for Audrey and Katherine by working as hard as I could, making as much money as possible, and placing the future of LCS and KLT as well as my hobbies (ducks and dogs) first, at the cost of not being involved in their lives.

Now I reap what I sowed, a daughter who does not know her dad, and a wife who feels unloved and taken advantage of, where the mental strain of caring for a cripple and running a household has begun to get too much to manage. I did pretty well for 5 years, a nice house, two new cars, a camper and a nice used car for the daughter. Neither daughter nor wife has had to worry about money, and both always got what they wanted when they wanted it. Now the GBM is in a position to change all that. Fortunately, since my surgery, with long term disability insurance and using my ownership in LCS and my ownership KLT, I have been able to maintain the standard of living I worked so hard to setup for Audrey and Katherine, but for how much longer I wonder? Even if the money is there, my relationship foundation for Audrey and Katherine is still built on sand, instead of rock. I can try to build a better relationship now; one free of my selfish nature, but the GBM will be always be working against me, as I will remain so needy. Eventually Audrey will have to leave for self-preservation and the daughter will care little about the old man with a brain tumor who never shared his life with her. There is always a harvest and I will reap what I sowed. I pray Jesus loves me enough to spare me from this suffering, by letting me come home. So beware, make sure your priorities are Family, God, then Work, and don't be selfish. You don't want to end up like me. Someday, something will get you; it probably will not be a GBM, it may be cancer, a stroke or a heart attack. Get your priorities right now, and build your relationships on rock instead of sand, while you still have time.