The Emotional/Attitude Front of the GBM War

The GBM battle is fought on more than one front, the medical front where we fight tumors and necrosis with modern medicine, and just as important, the emotional or attitude front. On this front we must maintain a positive outlook always filled with hope; never allowing false no hope to replace false hope. The attitude battle is the front where the body-mind does battle with the cancer. Loosing on this front will kill you just as fast as loosing on the medical front. Simply knowing this to be true and believing the body-mind exists can make a difference. This is the first firefight you must win on this front. A quick listen to the Bernie Siegel audio cassette tape "Peace, Love and Miracles" will get you started. This is so important; you will need an attitude spare tire. If someone meaning well punches a hole in your attitude, you will need to change the attitude tire quickly. You cannot run down the road on the rim, otherwise self-pity and doubt take over and you begin to send your body die messages.

Under attack on this front:

1. Your dignity. Find self worth within yourself. See #5 below.

2. Control over your environment and control in general, such as being in control of the little comfort things you need or simply just need to make you feel better. See #4 below.

3. The opportunity to cope and manage your deficients and accepting your deficients by compensating, even to the point of reinventing yourself.

4. Even if your tumor did not affect your cognitive abilities, you will still find your overall judgment is many times in question and many times you will not be given the opportunity to contribute ideas or suggestions equally.

5. Your feeling of self-worth and overall purpose for living.

This is the most important thing: Remember, even though you are the one with illness, your caregiver is as much a part of the war on GBM as you are. Your caregiver will be under as much stress or perhaps even more stress than you are. Recognize this early on and never forget it.

1. Nothing positive is ever gained by expending energy being combative with your caregiver.

2. Try to take care of your caregiver, always looking for new ways to make their job easier.

3. Don’t complain, especially about things you or your caregiver have no control over.

4. Don’t constantly ask for minor things. Keep requests to a minimum and save requests for the bigger, more important items.

5. Always be very, very patient; never asking for the same thing more than once.

6. Always talk in a normal, upbeat tone. Never add to a stressful situation by yelling across a room.

7. Never, ever show self-pity.

8. Never, ever try to make your caregiver feel guilty. In fact, be paranoid of this and go out of your way to make your caregiver feel appreciated and loved.

9. Don’t be overly sensitive to insensitive comments about you, even if your character flaws are being discussed in the third person or you think such comments are untrue. Rise above such commentary, labeling it as not worth your time to seriously consider. Be self-confident.

10. Always be ready to accept constructive criticism and change as quickly as possible, if you feel justified to do so.

11. If your caregiver asks you to do something, in most cases just do it; especially minor requests, don't argue- see #1 above. The path of least resistance is usually the best.

12. Understand you will fail at one on the above list daily because you are a human being. Just keep trying and never give up.